A Funk. A Slump. A Rut. The Dumps. Whatever it is- I'm in it. I'm having one. I'm feeling it.
Which is normal. I always get this way about a month before I deliver. It's my pre-pre-labor symptoms. Before the mucous plug, lightening and nesting phase. Yeah, I said that word. Sorry.
The 5 week count down. Depressed. Mad. Bugged. Zero sense of humor.
At what?
Being pregnant.
Swollen.
Tired.
Unmotivated.
Fat.
Hairy.
Cranky.
My house being messy and not having the energy to do anything about it, except sit there and stare at it and have all those finger prints and laundry piles stare right back at me.
It always seems I get really pooped around 35 weeks. Emotionally tired. Exhausted of myself. I get sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want to crawl in cave and watch Bravo all day.
I'll admit it. There was a little bribery involved in this pregnancy. Remember Roatan? Yep, that's right. Someone and we won't mention names although I probably should- Christian- was very eager to get the preggo ball rolling ASAP after Sheldon. I swear to you he told me he would take me on a vacation if we could start trying again. Ew. I know. So I agreed. Then changed my mind on the plane. Oops. Sorry.
So for the next few weeks, months, he wore sad eyes. Ugh. And then I felt a little bad so I mentioned I would love some new jewelry. He reminded me that that was what the trip was for. Shoot. Okay, but next time... We're only going up.
So I conceded. It went like this- FINE. Whatever. You're nursing. Figure it out.
Okay. I'm kind of kidding because I'm cranky and somewhere around 35 weeks this all becomes his fault. His bright idea and every discomfort I have I blame directly on him. And I bring that up a lot. I did this for you because you told me that in Roatan there is a restaurant that only serves fried food. Oh, it is SOOO your fault I can't wear shoes today. This heartburn? YOU did this to me! That horrid burp. YOU! It wasn't me that farted, it was YOU. I would never do something like that but YOU, YOU had to go and get me pregnant. Didn't you... So basically it WAS you and you should just admit it. Just say it, say- I Christian Demke farted right now.... And I'm gross.... You really should excuse yourself you know.
That's not a made up conversation......
I guess I can also include ungrateful. To my pre-pre-labor list.
I had dinner with a few friends the other night. I could hardly hide my grief sitting around all those skinny glamour girls. I just wanted to pull up to the table like the rest of them and enjoy my fish without getting it all over my shirt. I wanted to wear jeans like theirs. With no elastic around the back. One galpal wore a little tiny belt. Right around her waist. I wanted to touch it. That little belt. So cute. Around her teeny tiny waist. I ate four times as much as she did.
Before you bust my chops I want to say I am thrilled. I just don't think I'm one of those girls. Who LOVES being pregnant. I'm always looking forward to the end. To meet the little bug that gave me the bug that felt like the flu and see if it/ he/she will be hairy because my heartburn was so bad. I'm thrilled and tired. I'm excited and tired. Tired is okay though. It's a small price to pay.
I cherish each and every little grubby face at my table. It's just Christian's farts and the swollen feet he gave me that are kind of bringing me down right now. But I can't wait to see what kind of person this one will be. What will he will bring to our rapidly growing and crowded table?
Please God make him shy. Give me one shy, quite child. If I have just one of those genes in my genetic make up please make it a dominate one. Kidding.
I'm being a pill and I know it. Don't take this any other way than this is what 35 weeks of pregnancy will do to a gal. I guess this post is an excuse and apology for my behavior and attitude for the past few weeks..... Maybe months. You tell me. But I just can't pull it together. Can you give me 5 more weeks?
Yesterday Christian told me that this was equally as hard on him as it is me. Before I could give him a thousand reason why it's NOT, he reminded me that he does lose his wife for 9 months. To hormones, sickness, crabbiness and our bedroom as soon as he walks in the door.
It's 8pm and you're going to bed???
Which is very true, but I just reminded him who's idea this was and told him he'd better get really creative or really rich because the next time he wants to bribe me to do something like this..... I will not put up with his farts.
11 comments:
You crack me up! But it is so true! Those last few weeks are very confusing. You feel uncomfortable and therefore a bit cranky. You have so much to do, cuz even as hard as it might be with the belly, it is easier than the contents of the tummy on the outside, wanting the 100%, instant, constant attention the kid had gotten very accustom to.
And don't even get me started on nursing the "bug." (though bottle feeding isn't always a walk in the park either)
Hang in there, you are on your last lap of this jog-a-thon! (only you don't get any money, you get a baby)
Sorry, I know it doesn't help to have an equally grouchy, tired, lazy, irritable pregnant sister by your side at all times. And 90 degree heat. Hopefully the next few weeks fly by. :)
Susie- I felt really endeared to you the other night. While we were sitting there eating everyone with their skinny bodies and me and you growing larger. I just wanted to run away with you. I thought how we could talk and cry together and order a lot of food. I also do not enjoy being pregnant. I am an emotional basket case. It was hard for me to even talk at dinner without tears coming to my eyes. Steve and I have talked about having another baby, but I don't think I can handle another pregnancy. By the way I thought you looked beautiful at dinner the other night. I am jealous of your 5 week countdown. I counting down from 17 weeks.
Susie, you are in the home stretch. And next time it'd better be a nice piece of Tiffanys than Roatan. To me, Roatan is NOT a vacation. Vacation is spa and being pampered... I guess the one time I was in Roatan, it was rough and I did not like it. I will pray boy demke numero dos will be all you want him to be. I'll send you my number if you need to talk. and read those books! they'll help!
I'd offer to surrogate your last 5 weeks, if you could figure out the logistics. And BTW, it was about time for a Susie rant. They make me very happy. Not your pain, just the rant. More!!!
The last time i saw you i was thinking: wow. susie is a really good looking pregnant lady.
you were dressed in a cute dress, good hair, and your ankles were NOt swollen- at all. you inspired me to TRY to be a well dressed the next time i get knocked up...(hopefully not be any time soon).
so, next time you feel bad, just remember that i HOPE i will look AS GOOD AS YOU the next time i get pregnant.
I was laughing so hard while I was reading this. You are seriously so funny! I just love your sense of humor through all of the horrible things pregnancy does to your body, including Christian's farts :) You are great!!!!
You made me laugh! A great laugh before bed is always good. I hear ya our guys want lotsa babies did they not know we were over it???? Bran and Christian are 2 peas in a pod I think. Will you please call me I will help you with your loads of laundry and scrub off the finger prints. Please really I will or lets go get our toes done and lunch and I'll do some labor induction pressure points on you to get your labor going:)
I can always count on you to tell it like it is. And I totally agree with everyone who said that you are beautiful pregnant. Even if you feel crappy and least you look good doing it!
Susie,
I found your blog through Leslie's who I found through Krysta's (are you following?) I laughed so hard I cried! Perhaps because we seem to be at the same stage of pregnancy. I am due the 31st with #4 and soooooo sick of being pregnant! Thank you for giving me a good laugh tonight. With any luck it will put me into labor! Good luck! Gill Tanner
thats one of the best post ever written on pregnancy. Really you should bind your blog and sell it. I'm buying!!
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