Jay Christian Demke

I'm only going to spell check. Sorry if this sounds jumbled. I just pushed out a baby. 

Well it seems that I am so manipulative that I can even manipulate myself. Wow! Friday July 31 at 7:42pm Jay Christian Demke was born. Hallelujah. I spent the entire day prior and morning of doing anything and everything I could think of to induce labor and if any of it was that, that did it I will never know but Friday evening we had him. Labor was a sort of stop and start kind of thing all morning, so until I was about 5cm we still weren't convinced I was in labor. Midwife came around 5:30pm and convinced us(mainly Christian) that I was. 

As most of you know it was a planned home birth. What most of you don't know is that is was an HBAC birth. Home birth after C-Section. Everything went well, there were no complications, tons of pain and a very fast delivery. Extremely fast. As my midwife would put it, it was one for the books. Long story and I'm tired so if you see me, ask me, and I will tell you but otherwise I just gotta bang this one out cause Jay going to wake up any second and want to eat.  

I've had lots of people ask me questions about home birth and especially home birth after having a c-section. Mainly- Is it safe? 

Before I had Jay I imagined how I would write this and all the information I would spew but I am so exhausted and that feels to me right now like writing a term paper. Not up for it. I also thought after I had a home birth I would become this huge advocate and staunch supporter of home birth but to be honest my feelings remain the same. It's is a very personal decision.  It technically can be for almost anyone, but it's not. Christian and I didn't make the decision lightly. There were numerous reasons why we chose that route. One thing being it was always something that appealed to me and two we did it because we wanted to avoid an unnecessary repeat c-section. For us. That is what we wanted FOR US. I have no personal opinions on how anyone else chooses to do what. I will say this and say this only. What I believe now, what has come out of this experience is that I believe firmly in informed consent.  There are definitely pluses and minuses to both hospital birth and home birth. I've been asked about that a few times. I think all I could say is there is so much information and it's so easy to come by, but what it comes down to is- it's very personal decision and depends on you want. Homebirth is a great thing. It can be as accessible as hospital birth if it's what you decide to do. Each carries it's own risks. If you were to ask me about my situation I found there were greater risks delivering at a hospital. I can say that confidently because I really took the time to study it out. There are a lot of misconceptions about home birth and there are lots of misconceptions about hospital births. I'm just saying all this cause everyone thinks I went all granola. I didn't. I don't even like to eat it.  I'm off my soap box.

 

I highly recommend the book- "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer and the DVD "The Business of Being Born" produced by Abby Epstein and Ricki Lake. You can rent it on Net Flix. I found both wonderful and accurate, unbiased (the book) and very interesting. I only put that out there because everyone has had questions and it's easier to recommend a movie and book than tell you myself. Unless you ask me in person. 

When I was researching V-BAC and H-BACs I wanted facts. Not opinions and ideas by doctors or even midwives. I needed real numbers and statistics to make such a huge decision and both of those were excellent sources. I highly recommend both, not to persuade anyone one way or the other but I strongly believe that woman should be aware of what her choices are and the truth about all types births in general. Whatever it is we wish to do. H-BACs and V-BACs are safe. Having a previous c-section does NOT always make you a high risk pregnancy. The next time around. Don't let anyone tell you that. Because it's not true. There are other factors that could make it high risk.  If you want a V-BAC, demand it BUT do your research. Make your own choices and don't let others make them for you. There's your answer.  I/We did our research to do what we wanted. It was a long process to make this decision and very prayerful one. Like I said it's not for everyone but it was right for us and it was what we wanted. 

It was a great experience. However if you were to ask me that night or even Saturday I would have firmly told you- never again. I also would have told you I'm not having anymore children ever again. Like I did after all my labors and births. The fog is now beginning to roll in and I can tell you it was wonderful. (ish)

One thing that I wasn't expecting or that I was expecting but was not what I expected (huh) was something I had read a lot about and my midwife told me about, that after natural childbirth the mother is flooded with all these endorphins that give her almost a euphoric high of happiness and other worldly bliss. All the oxytocin flooding through your veins. Something like that. Feelings that epidurals and other pain medications can block and numb.  So I was expecting this glorious and heavenly, other-worldly experience that was going to put all my other deliveries to shame. Well, it was amazing and glorious after I pushed him out. But I'm wondering if that was just the relief??? I definitely felt more relief this time.  That is pretty glorious as I'm sure many of you can attest to. But I felt that way after ALL the births of ALL my children. They were all wonderful and amazing. Just like each one of my children are unique and different so were their deliveries but each was amazing and special in their own way and timing. Delivering Jay at home was no more magical and special than with Gavin and Whit in hospital or waking up in recovery from having Sheldon. They all came differently but every one was truly a heavenly experience. I cherish all their births and the moment their lives entered into mine as much as the next. I am so grateful for all of them and each one has brought me this much closer to heaven. 

So, where are we now?

We are not sleeping, really struggling with breastfeeding, and are completely dependant on my mother and mother in law at this moment. But other than that-FANTASTIC!! Jay is a pretty particular little guy and a champion cryer, but despite that we have all decided we are going to keep him. He's awesome! We are so excited for our new brother and we are so grateful for this precious gift and life and that has been given to our family. I know within the next few weeks all these little (major) stresses will pass. And then I will miss it terribly. So I am trying to keep that in mind and just breath and enjoy him and the chaos and relax. We are laughing and have had very few tears. Except for Jay. We count our blessings everyday. 

I know some of these pictures are little juicy but aren't those the ones we really like to see? And to be honest I picked the tamest AND had to edit them. I don't have a lot of pictures because everyone was pretty preoccupied but whenever the apprentice saw an opportunity she snapped a photo. Annoyed me at the time but I am so glad she did. That's why you will only see Christian looking at the camera. 

Bon appetite!