2 part el posto

We had ANOTHER birthday last week. Now 2 weeks ago. This has been sitting in- you guessed it, my drafts. Forever. Sheldon! Hurray! He turned 3. And he turned bad.

When I was going to write this post last week (2 weeks ago), I was reminiscing about him and getting all teary thinking about what a little dear he is, how we got so lucky and seemed to sail right above those terrible two's. And then this (and the following) week happened.

Quick as an eye, in true form of Sheldon, he turned on us and has been a complete ****head all week(s). For real. I want to kick him in the butt. I don't know what we are headed for and I am keeping my fingers crossed for just a random rotten week(s) but something is telling me... (Since it's been 2 weeks, I think it's pretty much confirmed he is going to stay a stinker for awhile)

Generally Sheldon is a dream. I said it last year and I will say it this year and if you get sick of hearing it, too bad. This boy is beautiful. I am beyond shocked between Christian and my "eh" genes we had such a beautiful child. He's so cute. And he's so cute! Head, shoulders, knees and toes.

Eyes, ears, mouth and nose.

This is what has happened in the last year with Sheldon. He moved in with me and Christian. Into our room. Literally. When Jay was born we moved him into Gavin's room, so they could share, having earlier bought a bunk bed for the boys with a double on the bottom so he could roll around and have lots of room. Transition from the crib. We got him and Gavin all pumped up (we basically informed them) about "getting" to "finally" share a room with a brother! Woo! Lot's of stories of how dad and I had, ahem, got to share rooms our whole lives and totally "LOVED" it!

Then somewhere in the midst of that blurry black hole time we don't/can't recall, Sheldon started coming into bed with us in the middle of the night. Usually after Jay would wake up and eat. Smart kid. We would both be so exhausted or deep into REM we wouldn't notice or care. So Christian moved a little mattress in the corner of our room. It's a big room. Simple. Then we put sheets and a pillow and blanket on it. When you give a boy a mattress in mom and dad's room with a pillow on it..... You are then going to have a little boy that puts on his pj's, climbs into mom and dad's bed, fluffs his pillow, settles in with bottle and looks at you like- Hey guys! You ready? I'm pooped. T.V? Man vs. Food? No? Yeah, maybe tomorrow night. So-goodnight!

And we let this happen. All of it. We did it. We know it.

We all share a bed and I moved his clothes into the extra dresser in our room. Yes. I did that. Because why would I put his clothes in a room he doesn't sleep in? That's ridiculous.

Just. Don't. Tell me anything. Because right now I really don't give a crap. I don't. We all share a room. What more can we bring up in therapy? I'll add it to the list.

I love Sheldon beeecccaaaauuussseee...

He thinks he is part of everybody's everything. Whatever you are doing or eating or talking about he just assumes that he is part of it, can have half of it (all if he's hungry) and join in on the fun of it. Having no relation to you means nothing, for if you exist then you certainly exist for him. Duh! And I would just like to say that I think that's a totally positive, healthy life attitude to have and I'm not going to do one thing to squash that. Word. Up.

I love that he is my one child who tells us constantly that he "lubs" us. All day, every day. "I lub u mom!" I die. I die. I die. He hugs, he kisses, he walks up to everyone and puts his hands up high and screams- "HI! HEY GUYS!" It translats to- Hey everyone, I'm here, where's the party, what's in your hand, is that a sandwich, you gonna eat that, can I have a bite, thanks!

I was talking with Christian a few nights ago. Sniff. I really am sad that Sheldon is growing up. Usually I get pretty enthusiastic as the kids get older every year. A little more independent and reasonable which is nice, but not Sheldon. He grew a few inches and his body is changing and it's breaking my heart. I really, really enjoy him as a toddler. Because after toddlerhood comes kindofawkwardlylonglengykneesandelbowybuckteethyhood. Which is totally fun and cute in it's own way. But there is something about a little boy with blond curly hair, dark brown eyes, little skinny legs with a distended round belly and teeny tiny hands that just melts my cold, cold heart. Ya know? He has been (has been) text book easy fun and delights us with every kiss and punch in the stomach. Translates- I lubu, let's play.

He is, what I think, a little boy should be. He is the stuff that poems are made of and mothers dream of. He plays and loves like a little bear cub. If you can take a punch to the face after a kiss on that same cheek you will love Sheldon. I wish I could explain that to the cat. Now I'm going too far, because I didn't already, but truly he makes me genuinely happy. He gives me pure joy. Pure, pure joy. Despite what I wrote earlier. I guess I'll take it back. (Because he is sleeping right now and I'm never mad at my kids when they are asleep.) There is nothing calculated or anything complicated about him. He's just a boy. Just a little, 100% straight up 3 year old boy. Simple. He is blissfully simple. A breath of fresh (or funky sweaty puppy) air in this complicated crazy life we live. Happy or mad. Mad equals tired, hungry or bored. Feed, nap or shoo outside. Bada bing. Bada bang. There are a few moments every blue moon when it's just the two of us and what a truly delectable treat it is for me to get to know the forgotten middle child who refuses to be forgotten.

He continues to love Christian the most and truthfully I find it absolutely endearing (as I love Christian the most too) and I can see the giddy pride this brings my husband. Not because Sheldon likes him more but because his son is so very in love with him. They are two halves of a whole and it's just the greatest.

C said to me around Sheldon's birthday, made me cry- He mentioned how he wished his dad were still here to get to know Sheldon. Not only would Sheldon1 LOVE having a grandchild named after him but he would have gotten a real kick out of Sheldon2. Having a grandson with the personality that Sheldon2 has, they would have been real buds. (Not his exact words, but the gist of it.) Isn't it true though?

(I wasn't going to add this but I think I will. Last Christmas we went to see Sheldon's grave site to clean it up and put some flowers there. As we were getting in the car to leave, something drew my attention to turn around and I knew with absolute certainty that Sheldon was with us. We brought the 2 little boys with us that day. There have been a few times in my life when I have felt the presence of family members around me that have passed and I get the same impression. That they want me to be aware that they are... very aware of us. Our lives. Our children. Our successes and even our failures. That they love us and know what we are doing. I believe they continue to watch us and are, I guess for lack of a better word, rooting for us. I know that Sheldon Sr. knows Sheldon and Jay. I felt it so clearly that Christmas afternoon. I know he loves those boys and all our children and continues to be part of our family still here on earth while he waits for us to join him on the other side. Sometimes that veil seems so thin. I am so grateful for my faith that supports my belief that families are forever and can be together forever. Even after this life. I am grateful for all the work that we can do here on earth to ensure that those ties and bonds never have to be broken.)

Sheldon makes me so happy. Call me nuts- but he is proof that either kids really are indestructible or I am doing something right. I choose to believe the latter.

Second part of this post today- Whitley has started Kindergarten. I can't believe it. Cliche. But true. I am so happy that C and I met when she was such a young baby. Together we have been able to raise her and this milestone is ours together. We both feel a little sad. We miss baby Whitley. But big Whitley is tons of fun. My only hope is that her teacher will understand her. We were so fortunate to have had a wonderful preschool teacher who "got" Whitley and really helped her develop and grow socially, was even able to appreciate her quirks. I so appreciate those teachers who really tune into their students needs and accept and love those children who "color outside the lines". I think we have a good one this year. Ms. Williams. I got a really positive vibe from her and I think this will be a great year for Whit. We are very excited. She is lukewarm. About as excited as she gets.

P.S. I'm room mom.