In our "chats" we have come to find out that even though we are not going through anything similar two people can really connect and understand mutual feelings of hurt, loss, pain, anger. The list goes on. As she and I have talked and shared we've come to the conclusion that people can be experiencing two very different trials in life but feel very much the same. Pain is pain. So when they say I know how you feel, maybe they do.
We have also come to the conclusion that hindsight is where we want to be (today would be nice:) but we are grateful to have the insight to know that it always comes. Months, maybe years but it does and then things could make sense. We are pretty certain of this. But in the mean time anger, frustration, and fear are okay too and it's okay to just own up to it. To go ahead and dwell on it some days and say- I don't like this, I want it to be better, I feel lost, I feel forgotten. I felt like He should have been there. It felt like He wasn't.
You don't need to remind me of how much I have and how much I have to be grateful for because that doesn't always make it better. I know and I am aware, but loss hurts. I hurt. Other things/people/blessings/choose a word, no matter how wonderful they are don't replace or fill the void. Maybe it should but usually it doesn't.
Yes- we find joy in the journey. Yes- we are faithful, yes- we will be hopeful, and we are learning to be patient but I am looking forward to hindsight. He was there.
"Its always okay in the end. So if it's not okay, than it's not the end."
3 comments:
Beautifully written Susie...I agree with you in that it always works out somehow in the end...just a year ago almost...I was hit with the biggest, hardest news of my life and look at us now??? Amazing how the power of prayer and faithfulness works...I have learned so much about myself, my marriage and LIFE in one year! Thanks for posting this post...and to Michelle...you have always been a beautiful girl inside and out and I truly believe God has a plan for you as well...Time and patience is the hardest thing to deal with sometimes...but in the end it too will work for you...
This is something that I always know in my head, but is much more difficult to convince my heart of...
When we were going through what felt like hell this year and then everything ended up falling into place after we thought for sure it wouldn't, our good friend (and realtor) told me something that her 90 year ol' Daddy always said: "Don't put a period where God is just putting a comma." Alright, it's alot cuter when said with a Texas drawl ;)
This post was perfectly written, Susie. I was planning one based on our conversations too. But you said it so beautifully, there is nothing for me to add, other than I love you!!!
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